4m0w7_cy

A lot has happened in two weeks. I had a friendship breakup with a girl I've known for a little over a year. After her misinterpreting my words over texts one too many times I came to the realization she's male centered, insecure, and is very bad at communication. I wish her the best, I don't think she's a bad person, but I can't be friends with her any longer. For context: I befriended her last January at a con, she was cosplaying the other half of one of my cosplays, and I wanted to connect with her over ig too cosplay together in the future. We hit it off over dm, realized we lived super close, and started hanging out like once or twice a month. We made cosplans, watched shows together, even did errands together all through summer and fall. Then in September we did cosplay together at con, but during this con I had a housemate (whole nuther can of worms) who ruined my friend's Saturday night of con while I wasn't there.
I'm not gonna go into the details bc it is too damn much.. Just know this will be important later because this was the only time my friend dealt with my housemate, who lived with me for four months. Anyways, the Sunday of con my friend and I went and we did have fun as our duo. At some point she says a cosplayer is cute so I decide to be wingman, and I do let her know this beforehand. I approach, take his picture, then open the conversation for my friend to join in. She starts shaking her head no profusely, so I apologize to the guy, compliment his cosplay again and we walk away. She then was telling me she's embarrassed and didn't want to talk to him. To which I'm thinking 'why didn't you tell me sooner???' however I just apologized and promised to never do that again. I hold that promise, and I think we've resolved this issue. WRONG!! Turns out she was still resentful of this interaction 4 months later, mind you it was a 3 minute interaction like holy shit?? Ok, I think I've given enough pre-context for what has happened in the last two weeks since my last post. 
Alright so in my last post I was talking about the con I had just gone to, with my duo. We had fun, where jokingly (at least I was) looking for cosplayer boyfriends, and taking lots of pics! After con my duo and I were texting and the topic of guys came up. She was talking about wanting a boyfriend, but that he didn't want to approach guys out of fear of being perceived creepy. I told her the guys she likes will not approach her, they're shy nerdy cosplayers, she needs to approach them, and I was wishing her luck with romance. She then insinuated that I was claiming she was a creep, or that she only goes to cons to date and that is creepy. When I never said such thing??? I was like 'if you're implying that people who approach others at con are creeps then are you saying I'm a creep?' to which I never got a real response. I just kinda was taken aback and apologized for making her think I was calling her a creep just to keep the peace.. Around this point too she brings up that guy from September, how she's still embarrassed and "fumbled" him. Also I'd like to note until this point I had forgotten him, and she didn't even know his name.. Like girl he was not that serious. Also most people legit forget half their cons unless something really good or really bad happened like.. stfu you are not important enough for him to remember you either. She also has this monologue sesh in my DM talking about how rarely she finds guys attractive and like to hold onto that attraction, but also not approach them in fear of looking creepy. And looking back on this, yeah girl you are creepy bc genuinely wtf? Why are you almost possessive over a man A MAN YOU DO NOT KNOW THE NAME OF MUCH LESS??? She has some serious limerence issues, and is confusing it for love... But I can't be the one to tell her this because she'd once again missinterpret my words, and also because i'm no longer friends with her lol lol!
Anyways!! It was very awkward and tense for the days following... Up until this point I was dealing with this issue on my own and wasn't asking anyone for a second opinion, because maybe my words were coming off wrong. I've been misinterpreted like this in the past due to my autism, so I wanted to give her the benefit the first time around. This did not last. So a day or so passed of me not initiating conversation, her sending me memes, and just over all weird vibes. She then randomly texts 'I gave myself a haircut late at night, but I don't wanna post it in fear of looking mental' so I was like 'oh well just post it at a more reasonable hour on your close friends story I suppose'. Pretty normal convo right? WRONG!! She immediately gets on the defensive like "well no duh. of course I'd do that, do you think I'm an idiot??" HUH!? So this is the second time she's put words in my mouth and claimed I called her an idiot, at this point I'm just in shock. I write up a text pretty much saying 'hey I do not know what I'm doing wrong. I'm not trying to upset you like I have these past couple days, I'm sorry i don't want to upset you anymore.' To which this chronically online bitch leaves me on delivered for a day and a half. AND HER RESPONSE???
'Oh I appreciate you clarifying what you meant, let's just forget and move on.' And then she responded to my story like nothing happened. WHAT THE HELL??? First you put words in my mouth, you snap at me for trying to converse with you when you had so little to say, and now you wanna act like I'm the problem?? What the fuck is your deal!? So after that I got the opinion of my closest friends (don't worry these girls don't know her personally and are not the type to spread gossip or rumors) and they were all in agreement that this girl was snapping at me for no reason. And that whole guy thing was just fuckin weird.. I didn't cut her off completely though because she had a bunch of con photos I was waiting for her to post and credit me as the photographer in.. Dumb decision because what happened after this last interaction was just.. Quite frankly dumb and immature.
So I was like you know what? I'm officially not going to initiate convo with her, if she doesn't want to acknowledge or take responsibility for her actions I'm not going to either. i. e. I'm not going to start convos with her anymore. So yeah, she then is sending me dumb memes again and tags me in a cosplay story template. I do respond and we're kinda talking again. Then conversation slows down because she can't hold a conversation. Then... She sent me a post. Imma give context about my old roommate again. After that September con they were raving about how they were gonna do a cosplay group with an individual who DITCHED THEM AT CON and made my friend wait for them to come home after 10pm and ruin her night. It was fucking ass and them just talking about thos cosplay group put my friend and I in a bad mood. Then the con in January comes, my friend and I see the group and guess what? My old housemate isn't theeeeereeee!!! It really felt like karma got their ass. 
Also, after the January con my friend and I found that the group made a group cosplay account, without my housemate tagged, and also that the friend who ditched them did post duo pics with my old housemate in the matching cosplays. Meaning that my old housemate either was unable to come to con the day of the group, or was shunned from the group except for that one shitty friend of theirs. Either way I felt karma got them and I moved on. I blocked every single one of them and was finally happy that chapter of my life and that drama came to a close. It did not close for my friend though. Instead she sends me a post of the group that my old housemate is not in as if to start talking about that drama again. However it had been a couple weeks since con and I was no longer interested. So I told her straight up that this post wasn't new info, my housemate isn't in it, and I wanna move on. She responded 'oh well i assumed you'd be interested because of all the past convos.' To which I wrote up a message that just explained the more I think of them and all that drama the more upset I get. They no longer live with me and I feel that karma got them. I'm happy about that and I'd like to move on, I've blocked them and all their friends as well. To which she gives me attitude and was like 'ok well i'm not one to push, I understood you the first time.' When you clearly didn't, and you just did push? Just now??? I then didn't respond and proceeded to restrict her. 
I'd also like to mention there was a guy she was friends with before me who she'd always go to con with who took sympathy for my old housemate and soured our relationship with him. He wasn't doing it outta malice, but he was acting very stupid since September so both my friend and I didn't talk to him much after that. At some point he got a girlfriend and was posting her 24/7 with really cheesy and horny captions. My friend would be like 'did you see that?' and brought him up after we stopped talking to him, but didn't cut him off completely. It almost felt like she was hung up on him and continuing the fume on drama looking back. At some point she wanted to ask him a question but was like 'I haven't talked to him in a while tho so if I reach out it'll look weird' and I'm just sitting here like... Why does it feel like you are implying you cut him off because of me? Like why is that my problem? Looking back there were a lot of signs she was insecure and just a very negative person. There was another time during this recent two week period where she was trauma dumping and blatantly stated she was jealous of me. Jealous of the fact that I would be able to leave this small town and pursue higher education. I really didn't know how to respond to the jealousy but I did tell her about a free online college for tech (she's very interested in tech) that would give her an official certification to work on computers and such. She also never responded to that either. Like I don't know what was up her ass.
After doing some critical thinking and talking to my friend who likes to evaluate behaviors rather than point fingers we came to a similar conclusion. I know she had a tough upbringing, and some of her past friends were actually bullies who would pick on her and call her creepy. I know she did not have good role models or access to therapy. So I came to the realization she has a lot of internal insecurities she hasn't resolved and due to her past friendships probably projected those experiences onto me. Thinking I was implying things her past friends would have. It sucks but... There isn't much I can do to convince her otherwise.. especially given she lacks accountability and the ability to move on from past painful experiences. It hurt me that she would think so little of me to think I'd call her an idiot, on two separate occasions. It annoyed me as well how she wants to linger on the drama with my old housemate, someone she dealt with on one occasion while I was living with this person for four months. It's very frustrating... After all this and me restricting her she finally posted the last batch of photos I had taken of her, a full month after con. It just felt icky and like she wanted me to reach out to her again. I appreciate she credited me in the caption, even if I'm not tagged due to the restriction, but I'm done.
It sucks, but I can make more friends and actually make friends with people who won't be male centered or care for drama. I swear all of my failed friendships come back to men. All my single friends hate men, while my taken friends rarely bring up their partners even if they've been together for over two years. And I love them for that!! I guess I'm in a weird middle ground.. I'm single and I'd like a boyfriend, but at the end of the day I am still happily single and would rather have a strong girl friendship than an average boyfriend. I have verrrrry high standards for my future boyfriend, and if he does not significantly improve my life or share the same political views as me he will be kicked to the curb!!! On a much more positive note, this whole thing made me realize one shitty friend shouldn't hold me back. I've since started working as a tutor for spring semester and already am forming new bonds and potential friendships with my fellow tutors, fun stuff!! Anyways, imma go draw yaoi. Peace!