Sad Now, Happy Later

[4m0w7_cy]

I don't know what to do. I'm so exhaused both academically and socially. I don't feel like I'm going to school for myself anymore and I don't like my life. I just want to afford to live on my own in my own apartment, have a nice job, and be able to be creative. I feel like I'm losing myself the longer I stay in school, I hate this feeling so much. I've been going for a bachlors for almost 5 years now and I'm not even half way done, I think imma take the L and get an asociates instead. I hate this so much!!! I feel like I wasted so much time, but I had no choice as I was and still am going to school on my mom's dime, so she calls the shots... I can't take it anymore because I know she's going to act like she's the one responsable and who pushed me to suceed when all I've wanted was a break from school and never had the option. I feel trapped but honestly? I think I have a plan to get out. I want to get an asociates, begin parateaching, get a letter of reccomendation move to a different school distric in the town I ACTUALLY want to live in, and start living on my own. I think this will take.. Two years give or take?? I don't think that's a crazy goal!! I think I can do it! And I won't work weekends so I can dedicate time to being creative!! I think I can achieve my goal of moving out by 25 if I start parteaching and saving up! I'm turning 23 this November, but I think I can finish my associates by then or even this semester I shall see!! I gotta make a phone call tomorow and if I can graduate now I think I will. It sucks I wasted time, but it wasn't an option within the box my mom confined me to. So was I really wasting time? 
I dream of a future where I live alone in a cabin with hardwood floors, I have a chihuahua, and possibly a cat. A well trained sweet apple head chihuahua named dumplin who I will love very much!! As for the cat I'll befriend an outdoor cat like I always have, I've tried to make them indorrs but they've never liked the idea... I want to live somewhere warm where I can bike and swim. Where I can sun bathe and read a book. Somewhere with a nice community and good thift stores! And delicious mexican food! I have a dream that I must work for, I will make it happen!! My life will have purpose and I won't live in my mother's shadow any longer!!